Thank you for a short flexible script to use, some of the suggested call scripts I see are way too long and way too cranky, and I don't always even know what to ask for in a call to a representative. Much appreciated!!!
Thank you for this and all your posts on how to be an activist. I’ve never commented but I read your posts regularly for how-to advice. For example my takeaway on today’s post—I’ve been emailing and keeping it simple. Letting my reps simply know I’m watching their choices and hoping they stand up for democracy. But I love this added piece of civility in stating facts. I will do that and end with the question. Also, I’ve also made small donations to my local chapters of some pride organizations. I’m not saying this to toot my own horn but rather to let you know your advice is helpful. These small acts not only keep me sane but are also the downstream impact of your work. Thank you!
Wow—thank you for sharing this. It truly means so much to know that these posts are helping in real, tangible ways. The work you’re doing—emailing, donating, holding your reps accountable—matters. And I love that you’re incorporating both civility and directness in your advocacy. Grateful for you!
Thank you so much for this, Sophia. I've said the same thing in my little world for all my adult life. And, here's how I react when I read comments from "my/our" side that include mocking insults based on physical attributes (e.g., "orange" anything): I stop reading and scroll on. Just like I do when they come from the other side, but faster. Because I need to know what the other side is up to, to protect my/ourselves. So I wade through the irrelevant muck to find out. From either side, I comment to myself: "as usual, nothing useful to say, can't make a coherent, cogent argument, so they call names and use the same adjectives (or verbs as adjectives). Useless."
Thank you for this. I feel the same way—when the conversation devolves into mocking or name-calling, it shuts down any real chance for meaningful dialogue or change. Appreciate you sharing your perspective.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have been trying to say versions of this in all my activist and resistance spaces, and I think there's something else really important: we ABSOLUTELY can hate people's choices, actions, ignorance, and most of all, the systemic factors that brought them to that place.
But we absolutely can't let ourselves to go from there to a place of hating PEOPLE and not their decisions. If who you voted for is the litmus test for joining the resistance, if we can't open our doors and hearts and volunteer rolls to people who wake up and want to help change it now, we lost before we ever got started. More importantly, we stop being able to LISTEN even when we disagree.
Just because people have more privilege or access to generational wealth doesn't mean they aren't also subject to systemic forces like the rest of us; we tend to use that conversation to talk about marginalization and keeping people at the bottom, but we need to be talking about how it also effectively keeps others at a safe, low dissent middle. When we create echo chambers we stop hearing voices other than our own.
Yes, and I want to jump in on your point about LISTENING. Of course that doesn't come into play when leaving a message for an elected official, but for any personal conversation, I believe listening is an essential part of the stategy. I don't think most people can hear you until they feel heard and understood (and you can totally hear and understand without agreeing). Usually in listening, you can find some shared values, and it's from there that you can start talking about strategies, and why you think theirs may not be the best, and here's why your strategy might work better to support the value you share.
Yes, exactly this. We can and should call out harmful choices and systems, but when we cross into hating people, we lose the very thing we’re fighting for—our ability to listen, connect, and change minds. If we shut the door on those who wake up and want to do better, we weaken our own movement. And your point about how systemic forces don’t just keep people down but also keep others comfortably complacent—that’s such an important lens.
Yes, I’ve learned the value of persistence over the years in navigating the healthcare system. I know I’ve been that angry patient back when pushing back against massive bills while sick. It’s been a whole project to heal my nervous system so that I can remain calm in such situations. It definitely has paid off, though. My challenge now is connecting with others locally who take a calm strategic approach rather than dumping.
This resonates so much. Navigating the healthcare system requires so much persistence, and staying calm in the face of frustration is a skill that takes real work to develop.
Yes! I hear you on "the whole project to heal [your] nervous system so you can remain calm in [conflictual] situations." I have been working hard on that too, and on learning how to communicate effectively in stressful, conflictual situations. I have been amazed at how much better things go when I use my tools to keep my nervous system regulated (just allowing myself time to pause and take a breath (or two) before speaking is a biggie) and communicate effectively.
Yes more of this. We need a clear defined strategy that isn’t just yelling to help push real change over the next few years. This is true for friends and family in addition to government. Anyone who may have different opinions. We won’t make any changes by belittling people, they will just ignore us. Thank you!
Thank You for this message. The current administration is proof. It didn’t happen overnight. Conservatives have made small moves over decades culminating in what we have today. We can make meaningful changes we just need to continue making small moves and making sure our voices heard.
“You can’t shame someone into changing their mind—but you can create pressure that forces them to reconsider their position.” This holds so much value in all aspects of life. People shut down when they feel an ounce of shame. Instead, we must listen and find common understanding which helps to highlight our connected humanity.
Thank you for a short flexible script to use, some of the suggested call scripts I see are way too long and way too cranky, and I don't always even know what to ask for in a call to a representative. Much appreciated!!!
100% anytime!
Thank you for this and all your posts on how to be an activist. I’ve never commented but I read your posts regularly for how-to advice. For example my takeaway on today’s post—I’ve been emailing and keeping it simple. Letting my reps simply know I’m watching their choices and hoping they stand up for democracy. But I love this added piece of civility in stating facts. I will do that and end with the question. Also, I’ve also made small donations to my local chapters of some pride organizations. I’m not saying this to toot my own horn but rather to let you know your advice is helpful. These small acts not only keep me sane but are also the downstream impact of your work. Thank you!
Wow—thank you for sharing this. It truly means so much to know that these posts are helping in real, tangible ways. The work you’re doing—emailing, donating, holding your reps accountable—matters. And I love that you’re incorporating both civility and directness in your advocacy. Grateful for you!
Thank you so much for this, Sophia. I've said the same thing in my little world for all my adult life. And, here's how I react when I read comments from "my/our" side that include mocking insults based on physical attributes (e.g., "orange" anything): I stop reading and scroll on. Just like I do when they come from the other side, but faster. Because I need to know what the other side is up to, to protect my/ourselves. So I wade through the irrelevant muck to find out. From either side, I comment to myself: "as usual, nothing useful to say, can't make a coherent, cogent argument, so they call names and use the same adjectives (or verbs as adjectives). Useless."
Thank you for this. I feel the same way—when the conversation devolves into mocking or name-calling, it shuts down any real chance for meaningful dialogue or change. Appreciate you sharing your perspective.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have been trying to say versions of this in all my activist and resistance spaces, and I think there's something else really important: we ABSOLUTELY can hate people's choices, actions, ignorance, and most of all, the systemic factors that brought them to that place.
But we absolutely can't let ourselves to go from there to a place of hating PEOPLE and not their decisions. If who you voted for is the litmus test for joining the resistance, if we can't open our doors and hearts and volunteer rolls to people who wake up and want to help change it now, we lost before we ever got started. More importantly, we stop being able to LISTEN even when we disagree.
Just because people have more privilege or access to generational wealth doesn't mean they aren't also subject to systemic forces like the rest of us; we tend to use that conversation to talk about marginalization and keeping people at the bottom, but we need to be talking about how it also effectively keeps others at a safe, low dissent middle. When we create echo chambers we stop hearing voices other than our own.
Yes, and I want to jump in on your point about LISTENING. Of course that doesn't come into play when leaving a message for an elected official, but for any personal conversation, I believe listening is an essential part of the stategy. I don't think most people can hear you until they feel heard and understood (and you can totally hear and understand without agreeing). Usually in listening, you can find some shared values, and it's from there that you can start talking about strategies, and why you think theirs may not be the best, and here's why your strategy might work better to support the value you share.
Yes, exactly this. We can and should call out harmful choices and systems, but when we cross into hating people, we lose the very thing we’re fighting for—our ability to listen, connect, and change minds. If we shut the door on those who wake up and want to do better, we weaken our own movement. And your point about how systemic forces don’t just keep people down but also keep others comfortably complacent—that’s such an important lens.
Yes, I’ve learned the value of persistence over the years in navigating the healthcare system. I know I’ve been that angry patient back when pushing back against massive bills while sick. It’s been a whole project to heal my nervous system so that I can remain calm in such situations. It definitely has paid off, though. My challenge now is connecting with others locally who take a calm strategic approach rather than dumping.
This resonates so much. Navigating the healthcare system requires so much persistence, and staying calm in the face of frustration is a skill that takes real work to develop.
Yes! I hear you on "the whole project to heal [your] nervous system so you can remain calm in [conflictual] situations." I have been working hard on that too, and on learning how to communicate effectively in stressful, conflictual situations. I have been amazed at how much better things go when I use my tools to keep my nervous system regulated (just allowing myself time to pause and take a breath (or two) before speaking is a biggie) and communicate effectively.
Yes more of this. We need a clear defined strategy that isn’t just yelling to help push real change over the next few years. This is true for friends and family in addition to government. Anyone who may have different opinions. We won’t make any changes by belittling people, they will just ignore us. Thank you!
New to blogging on substack. So grateful I found you!! Thank you for this article and the wisdom you have to share. ❤️
I'm glad you're here! Sophia is great and I think this will be a good space to come together and figure out how to move forward effectively!
Oh. thank you so much Margo!
Thanks for joining! :)
Thank you. Very well said.
The only way out is through
Thank You for this message. The current administration is proof. It didn’t happen overnight. Conservatives have made small moves over decades culminating in what we have today. We can make meaningful changes we just need to continue making small moves and making sure our voices heard.
Yes, exactly. Change—good or bad—doesn’t happen overnight.
Thank you.
Thank you for this insightful and meaningful post. It's actually one of the most important pieces I've read on this madness.
“You can’t shame someone into changing their mind—but you can create pressure that forces them to reconsider their position.” This holds so much value in all aspects of life. People shut down when they feel an ounce of shame. Instead, we must listen and find common understanding which helps to highlight our connected humanity.
Thank you!
Thank you Sofia Fifner for assistance in the resistance!