I’m going to say something that might not be popular, but it needs to be said.
Activists are wasting too much time focusing on the wrong fights.
Every day, we’re hit with another crisis—another attack on truth, on rights, on democracy. And yet, too many people default to name-calling, harassment, and screaming as the strategy du jour.
This week alone, the National Park Service erased ‘transgender’ from the Stonewall National Monument website, the Ohio Senate gutted diversity programs and restricted classroom discussion, and school boards across the U.S. removed thousands of books—mostly by Black and LGBTQ+ authors—while the Trump administration dismissed federal investigations into these bans as a “hoax.”
Far too often, we place all the blame on Washington. But focusing only on the federal government means we’re already losing the fight.
More importantly—if we don’t know how to move power instead of just yelling at it, we will lose.
Yelling, “You’re a F*cking Piece of @#$!” Won’t Change Anything
Yes, yelling profanities feels really good. But let’s be real:
Calling an elected official (or, more likely, their staff), screaming at them, and then calling them names will not move them.
I’m sorry, this isn’t partisan. It’s just comms 101 and persuasion.
I’ve worked on Capitol Hill. I’ve worked in city government. I’ve seen how this plays out. If you call just to rage, they’ll put you on mute, type “angry constituent” in their notes, and move on.
(And for the staffers - like me - idealistic enough to actually stay on the line? Congrats, you’ve given us nothing useful to work with. So, to the guy who called every week and hurled “Princess” like it was some kind of verbal chokehold—congrats. I forgot your issue the second you said it, but your textbook misogyny? Burned into memory. You’re welcome)
Look, the people who actually get laws changed? They don’t waste time screaming into the void. They use strategy.
Years ago, I worked with an environmental activist who wanted to restrict pesticide usage in the city. She was relentless, exhausting, and frustrated by slow progress. But she was also really effective.
She didn’t just show up to yell. She backed up her case with data, provided clear policy recommendations, and—while her persistence was annoying as hell to some at the time—she never raised her voice. Over time, she wore officials down—not with outrage, but with persistence and persuasion.
Here’s the truth that no one wants to hear
Effective advocacy is not a sprint. It never has been. It’s slow, tedious, and, frankly, sometimes boring.
But that’s how you get good and lasting things done.
Movements that win—civil rights, women’s suffrage, marriage equality—didn’t succeed because their leaders were the loudest. They succeeded because the army behind them was relentless, disciplined, and strategic.
They understood that civility isn’t compliance—it’s a power move.
Change Happens When We Refuse to Give Up
I already know some folks will roll their eyes at this.
“We shouldn’t have to be civil when people are stripping away our rights.”
And I get it. I really, really do. And if that’s the approach you believe works best—peace be with you. But if the goal is actual change—not just catharsis—then persuasion, relationship-building, and strategic pressure are simply more effective.
I wish it weren’t true. I wish screaming worked. But history tells us otherwise.
Small Good Things
Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach — Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Mend what’s within your reach.
Make the call.
Show up to the local meeting.
Ask better questions.
Aim your energy where it can actually move the needle.
Fire without focus is just smoke.
Now—who’s making a call this week? Drop a comment if you need help crafting your script.
Love + Light,
Sophia
P.S. Change happens when we move with strategy, not just emotion. If this resonated with you, consider becoming a paid subscriber. Together, we can focus on what actually works.
P.P.S. Want to be more effective when contacting elected officials? Try this approach instead:
Start with respect—even if they don’t deserve it. Staffers are human. If you attack, they tune you out.
Find common ground. Frame your ask in a way that aligns with something they already care about.
Be concise. Offices track constituent concerns. A clear, specific ask beats a ten-minute rant.
Try This Script Instead:
"Hi, my name is [Your Name], and I live in [Your District]. I’m calling because I care deeply about [Issue]. I know [Representative’s Name] has supported [related issue] in the past, and I believe that [your issue] aligns with that same value. I’m asking them to [specific action: vote yes, oppose, issue a statement, co-sponsor, etc.]. Can you confirm where they stand on this?"
As Dale Carnegie said: "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still."
You can’t shame someone into changing their mind—but you can create pressure that forces them to reconsider their position.
Peace.
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