Gurl. Guurl. It’s been a weeeeeeeeek.
The Pentagon just locked out major news outlets. The government froze foreign aid. The Education Department called book bans a hoax while gutting civil rights protections. And as if that weren’t enough, new tariffs will likely throw the economy into chaos. (yay. 😒)
It’s only February, and it already feels like the world is coming apart at the seams. Every morning, we wake up to another crisis—another right stripped away, another injustice demanding our energy. It’s Groundhog Day, except instead of a cute rodent, we get a government intent on undoing decades of progress.
Women are always the ones holding it all together.
We step up when systems fail. We are the ones running mutual aid networks, organizing disaster relief, fighting to keep books in schools, and fundraising for reproductive care. And yet, when it comes to our own lives, we hesitate to do the one thing that keeps movements—and people—alive: ask for help.
The Lie We Were Taught
I am one of the lucky ones.
I grew up in a home where help wasn’t just expected—it was given freely. My mom took care of the neighbor’s kids, my aunts watched me after school, and asking for help was just how we got through life. Even now, as an adult, I live close to family I trust. If I need help with my kids, I can call my mom, my sister, my neighbor and know they will show up. If I needed to hire care, I could. The privilege of proximity, financial stability, and a strong support system is not lost on me.
And yet—even with all of that—I still catch myself hesitating to ask for help.
Not with the big things, like childcare in an emergency. But with the small, everyday moments when I tell myself: I should be able to handle this.
Because somewhere along the way, we all absorbed the same lie:
✔ Asking for help is a last resort.
✔ Capable people don’t need support.
✔ Admitting you can’t do it all is the same as admitting failure.
And if I feel this—even with all the resources I have—I can only begin to imagine how heavy this weight is for women without a safety net at all.
The Civic Lens: When Systems Fail, Women Fill the Gaps
This isn’t just personal. It’s political.
Women have been conditioned to absorb every crisis, to step in when systems fail, to quietly pick up the pieces when those in power make a mess of things.
And this week? They made a f*cking mess of things.
The government just slashed humanitarian aid—so now, women will have to organize, fundraise, and step in. Nearly 75% of nonprofit sector workers are women.
The press is being pushed out of the Pentagon—so now, women will have to work even harder to get and share the truth.
Schools are banning books—so now, women will have to fight for access to education for their kids.
And now, the government won’t even officially recognize Black History Month. The largest employer in the country just erased a month that only exists because Black history was erased in the first place.
The pattern is clear—if we don’t fight for our communities, no one else will.
When the system fails, we don’t just feel responsible—we become responsible. But let’s be clear: we should never have been forced to carry these burdens in the first place.
Asking for Help is a Civic Act
So, my friends, what if we treated asking for help the way we treat offering it—necessary, valuable, human?
✔ Asking for help pushes back against the idea that we should struggle in silence.
✔ Asking for help normalizes community care as a strength, not a failure.
✔ Asking for help sets the expectation that we don’t have to do this alone.
We don’t have to do this alone. We were never meant to. Every movement that has ever won change—civil rights, labor rights, reproductive rights—was built on people showing up for each other. Asking for help isn’t a weakness. It’s how we win.
Small Good Things (What You Can Do Today)
Personal: Ask for help today. Big or small. Gurl, let someone in.
Community: Offer help today. Be the person you wish you had.
Civic: Call your reps. Demand policies that make caregiving and community care easier, not harder.
Big Good Things ( What We Can Build Together)
Reimagine the Village: Start or join a local parent swap, care network, or mutual aid group.
Shift the Narrative: Speak openly about how hard it is—and why we deserve better. And, I’m especially calling out women in leadership positions.
Fight for Policy Change: Advocate for paid leave, affordable childcare, and protections that make asking for help a right, not a privilege.
Final Words: You Are Not a Burden.
Asking for help doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
And in times like these? Humanity is our greatest strength.
Now. What’s one thing you need help with this week? Drop it in the comments. Let’s build this muscle—together.
Love + Light,
Sophia
P.S. Big news! Community Threads📌 launches this Tuesday—a space where we come together to talk, problem-solve, and take action. Every week, I’ll post a question, and we’ll dig in together. First thread drops soon—make sure you’re a paid subscriber so you don’t miss it!
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